Wednesday, September 22, 2010

A Wake-up Call

Today I was reading Courtney Carver's blog Be More with Less and her most recent post "The Right Time Is Right Now" really resonated with me. One statement in particular hit home in a major way:
[The] path of least resistance will kill you.
How true I'm finding this to be. I gave up my job as an adjunct professor, which, although it did not pay me a great deal, gave me an enormous sense of satisfaction, in order to have more "security" and to have health benefits. I quit being a "freeway flier," flitting from campus to campus, and now work the 9-5 at a corporation. Don't get me wrong, I like my current job and I am good at it, but it is not as fulfilling as teaching was. In many ways, I feel as though this new position is slowly eating away at my hopes and dreams.

I no longer have the scheduling freedom that I once had. I no longer have summers off. I no longer use my beloved Master's degree (that I am still paying for). I no longer have the daily intellectual stimulation of discussing writing and literature with my students and colleagues. This is not the fault of my job or the company I work for, it was my decision. I thought I knew what I was getting into. I thought I could walk away from teaching and that the increase in salary and the health benefits would make me forget that I have given up something that I loved to do. These perks are nice, but they don't make me forget. If anything, it makes me feel worse to know that I would sell something I love for so little.

It is causing me to feel bitter and frustrated about my work life.

Yet, in all of this, the silver lining is that this decision has brought me to this point. It has caused me to start doing what I'm doing now. Downshifting and reassessing our finances and pursuing my own Happiness Project! I'm actually finding myself feeling more hope and more excitement about not only the future, but the present. I'm actively trying to find ways to pursue my dreams, without having to sacrifice anything I don't want to be rid of. I'm ready to take, as my buddy Bobby Frost once said, "the road less traveled by" -- a concept that has always terrified and fascinated me.

 I will take this road, because I refuse to let the path of least resistance to kill me!

4 comments:

  1. My 11th grade English teacher actually told my class that Robert Frost was really talking about two roads in the forest. She laughed at my fellow classmate when she started talking about deeper meanings to the poem.

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  2. Cara-- Your 11th Grade English teacher is why so many people hate poetry!

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  3. Yes, she is. I blame her, anyway. :)

    I also wanted to say that I admire your pursuit for happiness in your work life. It makes me sad when people sell out instead of following their dreams. I find it is seldom worth the trade off.

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  4. Thanks Cara! It is really hard when you realize that your choices have led you to a less-than-happy place. I often joke that I sold my soul to the corporate machine, but it sometimes feels like that. Now it is a matter of figuring out what I want and then jumping the big fear hurdle & moving towards my new goals!

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